Trials

Trials don’t come our way with advance notice like, “Okay, I’m coming next week, so get ready.”  They show up unexpededly, when we haven’t prepared  for them – like an unwanted and ininvited guest.

I wrote the following blog on December 5, 2016In looking back, I see how the Lord was preparing our family for this current and severe trial.  Here’s what I wrote:

According to James 1:1-4, we are to consider it joy whenever we face trials of various kinds, because we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:12 goes on to say, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God promised to those who love Him.”

So then, trials are meant to strengthen our character and to test our faith in order to develop perseverance, and when we have stood the test, we will receive the crown of life.  Therefore, we should consider it joy.

I wrestled with these Scripture verses this past week when our daughter was told that her cancer did not respond to the chemo pill that was supppose to target the cancer in her spleen.  In fact, the cancer has spread and the smaller ‘pebbles’ in her adomen had actually grown.  I did not feel joy whatsoever.  I shed many tears.

The next day Rene’ stopped over on her way to work.  She put her hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.  “We have today.  Let’s find joy in it.”

Our daughter and  her family were under a herculean trial.  My husband and I were being tried.  How are we to respond in a godly manner?  How are we to consider joy in the midst of such overwhelming sadness?  Rene’ was on the battlefield again.  Alone.  We could only stand on the sideline and pray.   I pictured Jesus walking beside her.  He steadied her step.  She leaned into Him.  He pointed to the other side of the valley, and they smiled.  She was not alone.  The King of kings walked by her side.

Rene’s prayer was that she would never lose her joy in the Lord.

“Father, You know what it is like to grieve for Your Son when He hung on a cross, but there was a purpose for Jesus to suffer and die…”  before I could say another word, it was as though He spoke.  “There is purpose here.  Just trust Me.”

I closed that blog with these words:  “It may not be easy, but I’m learning to trust in the Lord on a deeper level.  To live one day at a time is the only way to persevere under trial and to find peace along the way.  Remember, He has a purpose.

And now, after 4 years of preparing Rene’ for the work He has called her to do, I see the wonderful and mighty way He has worked in and through her to reach so many, many people and children for His kingdom.  And for that, I have joy.  Rene’ is currently fighting the fiercest battle of her life, but her life is ebbing away.  At times, I am overwhelmed with sadness, but then the  thought of God, His love for and through Rene’, life on earth and eternal life eases my sadness.  I see that Rene’s joy, as with every believer, will be made complete.   God accomplished His purpose in and through Rene’ and when I see the unimaginable results, that gives me an inner joy.

“He has made known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11