Man in a Hoodie

man in a hoodieThe early morning air felt cool and refreshing as I set out on my usual walk.  It was so early the sunflowers still had their heads bowed. I noticed a man in a hoodie walking towards me on the opposite side of the street.  I instinctively ran my fingers over my back jeans pocket and realized that I left my cell phone on the kitchen counter.

I avoided the man’s eyes as he crossed over to my side of the street.  I glanced over my shoulder and picked up the pace.  He was gaining on me.  My heart began to pound and panic made my ears ring. I turned the corner and headed up a residential street.  I spotted a house with lights on, then looked over my shoulder. The man in a hoodie turned on the same street.

I hustled up the driveway. I turned and looked. The man stopped at the end of the driveway by the paper box.  He stared at me as he slowly walked up the driveway. Step by step. I froze. I stood at the front door – the doorbell just inches from my hand, but I could not ring the bell.  I could not bang on the door.  I could not scream.  I was paralyzed with fear. I knew I was in his cross-hairs.

He was at the top of the driveway, just feet away.  Our eyes locked. He did not waver and my legs were too stiff to flee. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and black.  I’m dead. Lord, Help!   The man never took his eyes off me while terror nearly strangled me..

“Do you need help?” he asked, and squeezed the black object in his hand. The garage door opened.

Seriously? I’m standing on the steps of the man who I thought was going to attack me?   “No,  I’m just leaving,” I mumbled. He folded the newspaper, tucked it under his arm and headed into the garage, but not before squinting eyes of suspicion at me.

I had nothing  substantial to base my  fear on. Just my imagination, but I wonder if it were a real life-threatening situation, or the man made threats, or he really had a gun in his hand instead of his garage door opener, what then?

I discovered real fear recognizes a real and imminent danger;  anxiety from a vivid imagination triggers an irrational fear.

Sometimes I think about that situation and usually my thoughts travel back in time to a lion’s den.  Daniel heard the roars of hungry lions. He saw them pace back and forth just before being shoved into their midst.  He was about to be torn to pieces. That is cause to give anyone fear.  The imminent danger was real.  Yet, Daniel showed no fear.  How come?

Why did God not give me peace, but He did with Daniel?  I concluded it was because I was never in real danger and Daniel was.  My imagination created my danger, and because it was not a real threat, there was no need for God to give me peace.  But if I were in real danger, I  know He would have protected me or given me His peace.  It says so in Psalm 9:9-10 ~ “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  And those who know the name of the Lord put their trust in Him, for He will not forsake those who seek Him. “