I had a zany mindset when I was supposed to be productive, but I had such a fabulous time! The Matchmaker is the result.
Betty Crocker lived in a rustic Log Cabin somewhere in Idaho where the Mountain Dew Sparkles like a White Cloud of diamonds every morning. She always wore a Blue Bonnet whenever she worked in her flowering Bushes. Betty Crocker tried to maintain a Smart Balance between gardening and her weekly Soft Scrub of her small Hickory House.
One day several hours after the Dawn of as Sunkist morning, a very tall man came to call on Betty Crocker. He was accompanied by an older woman known as Aunt Jemima from the remote town of Campbells. Aunt Jemima was thought to be a matchmaker of sorts. It was her Secret Aim to get the biggest Bounty of matchmaking throughout all Nature Valley.
Before Betty Crocker could invite them in, Aunt Jemima bubbled in excitement, winking at Betty Crocker. “This is Tom Heinz,” she gushed. Aunt Jemima went on to explain Tom’s bizarre green hat, jacket and pants. “Tom Heinz is known as the Jolly Green Giant and this is what he wears when he Hunts those Skippy little rabbits,” she chuckled, with a Gleam in her eye. “He even won a Gold Medal for catchin’ the biggest dern jackrabbit from Johnsonville to way up past the Hillshire Farms!” Betty Crocker’s Ivory cheeks turned blush pink, but stuck out her hand anyway. Tom Heinz took her delicate hand and bowed every so slightly.
“Land O’ Lakes!” jabbered Aunt Jemima. “Ain’t you goin’ to invite us in?”
“Of course,” Betty Crocker said, stepping aside and pulling the door open wide. She plucked her Bufferin-colored cat, Libby, from her Post on the back of the sofa, and let it plod like Soft Soap bubbles onto the floor. “Please sit down,” Betty Crocker invited.
“He’s the most Charmin‘ man I ever Lays my eyes on,” Aunt Jemima whispered, as she scooted herself to the only chair in the living room.
“You have a very clean house,” Tom Heinz said, awkwardly. “It has the aroma of an Old Spice my grandmother used when bakin’ apple crisp.”
“Ha! That’s quite a compliment comin’ from Mr. Clean himself!” Aunt Jemima chimed in. Betty Crocker nodded her gratitude at a Total loss for words as Tom Heinz sat down on the sofa. “It’s a pure Joy to meet you, Ma’am.” He smiled politely. Betty Crocker sat down quietly.
“Why, Tom Heinz, doesn’t she remind you of that pretty li’l cousin of yours, Sara Lee? Aunt Jemima broke the silence.
“Yep. She’s a sweet little Dove who married that Quaker fella named Morton. They live in the old Maxwell House between Uncle Ben‘s and the Hills Bros down in the flats where all the General Mills in the county run nonstop…” he rambled.
“Well, my, my!” Betty Crocker exclaimed jumping to her feet and running into the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a Jif.” Cups and plates rattled noisily in a china Tone. Cupboard doors banged shut and Betty Crocker reappeared with a New Balance of Poise and shyness carrying a tray of cookies she received earlier from her neighbor, Mrs. Fields. “I have Dial-a-brew coffee maker,” she offered, sweetly. “Howl do you like your coffee?”
“O, I don’t drink coffee,” Tom Heinz apologized. “Tea then?” Betty Crocker offered. “Now’s I’s the one who don’t drink no tea,” Aunt Jemima blurted. “But I did bring some cocoa from that li’l Swiss Miss on the other side of Hidden Valley,” she said pulling several packets from her purse. “I introduced her to Peter Pan, ya know, and they’s a-fixin’ to get hitched in spring.” She examined Tom Heinz and Betty Crocker with eyes that glistened with mirth.
Tom Heinz nodded silently and Betty Crocker blushed. “I’ll heat some water.”
“Reverend McCormick is going to perform the weddin’ ceremony,” Aunt Jemima called as Betty Crocker disappeared into the kitchen again.
Everything was Splendid as the three sipped hot cocoa and munched on cookies. Even Libby seemed content to Nestle on the window sill that overlooked the lane that ran alongside Schilling Creek.
“May I call on you again?” Tom Heinz asked, setting his empty cup and saucer on the table. Betty Crocker nodded shyly.
Aunt Jemima took that as her cue. “Jumping to her feet, she exclaimed, “Well, my, my! ‘Looks like my job is All done.”
Betty Crocker walked Tom Heinz and Aunt Jemima to the door.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, He’s quite a catch. A perfect match. She congratulated herself, kicking her heels together like Mary Poppin herself does. “Cheerios,” Aunt Jemima waved.