What do you do when someone does something hurtful to you? What if it was deliberate? What if it was predetermined? Or, what if it was unintentional? Are we to give forgiveness to each one in the same way? Do we wait for an apology? Do we secretly weigh the depth of hurt with the sincerity of the apology?
I’m not talking about a felonious crime one person may inflict on the other – I’m talking about ordinary people in everyday circumstances.
An example of a deliberate offense: The crowd, being stirred up against Jesus by the chief priests, shouted, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!” The chief priests AND the crowd were deliberate in their offense to not only hurt another person, they wanted to KILL Him. They acted out of ignorance to see the truth of who Jesus was because of hardened hearts.
How about a predetermined offense? A prime example is when a Judas Iscariot, a disciple of Jesus, predetermined how he would betray Jesus – for money. (John 14:11) Afterwards, Judas hung himself without seeking forgiveness. He had worldly sorrow for what he had done, but not godly sorrow which is what led to his demise. Judas not only wanted money, he acted as well out of hatred for Jesus.
An Unintentional offense: Peter, one of the twelve disciples, denied knowing Christ Jesus. But, immediately after Peter denied Jesus three times, Jesus turned and looked at him – not with condemnation, but with kindness. Peter remembered the words of Jesus saying he would deny Him three times before a rooster crowed twice. Peter began to weep bitterly – he had godly sorrow. Peter had acted out of fear.
There were three hurtful and heart-breaking acts done to Jesus. How did He respond? Of the crowd demanding His crucifixion, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them.” As for the predetermined offense of betrayal, Judas never sought forgiveness. How about Peter’s denial? Peter did not intend to cause hurt to Jesus, but rather acted out of fear.
Eight days after His resurrection from the dead, Jesus prepared breakfast on the beach for seven of His fishermen disciples. After breakfast, Jesus asked Peter, three times, “Do you love Me?” Peter answered, “Lord, You know I love you.” (John21:15) Their relationship was restored with no reminders of the offense ever being mentioned afterwards.
Forgiveness: an intentional and voluntary process by which a ‘victim’ lets go of negative emotions with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
Jesus did not hold a grudge. He did not harbor anger or resentment or bitterness. He freely forgave those who caused Him deep sorrow. Jesus initiated the forgiveness.
Are we any more worthy than Jesus, Son of God, to expect sustained kind treatment from others? Are we not to follow Jesus’ example and freely forgive those who have wronged us whether it was done deliberately, predetermined or unintentionally?
Forgiveness ~
Won’t change the past, but will surely change the future.