When Mom was in the throes of Alzheimer’s Disease, her sewing room became a physical photo of what was going on in her mind. Things were in odd places or lost. Clutter began to be the norm. Everything seemed to be in disarray. Her kitchen mirrored more of her diminishing ability to organize. And her checkbook was next to impossible to figure out. Everything was bent out of shape.
Since I cared for Mom on a regular basis, my heart ached for her. She used to be so kind and loving and always wanting to help others for as long as I had known her. And she loved to laugh! Now, when I surveyed her house, I wanted to stop time; to unwind the damage done to her brain; to protect her from the darkness she was facing. I tried to help, but my efforts seemed futile. “Lord, please don’t let her forget You,” I prayed, frequently.
I though that if I de-cluttered her sewing room where she used to spend hours sewing or sorting and labeling the mass of material she had accumulated, it would help. “Mom, would you like me to clean and organize your sewing room?” I asked. She agreed.
A place for everything and everything in its place .
I spent five hours cleaning the sewing room. I hauled piles to the living room to be thrown out. I organized tons of material. 
I put everything in its place just like the motto she used to live by. But to my chagrin, Mom said, “I want everything put back.”
At the time, I had no idea that a mind in disarray could not appreciate neat and orderly, but that is the way it is with Alzheimer’s Disease. I felt frustrated that all my time and efforts were in vain. I also hurt my back, and I was not able to stand straight. As much as I detest doing things over, I hauled everything back in to the sewing room – bent out of shape as I did so. “Lord, is there a lesson here for me?” I sighed.
I was immediately impressed with, “Don’t get bent out of shape over material things, but rather be concerned with the things of eternity.” I also had to accept my inability to control disarray in others – whether mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I was to minister to others in their need, not what I wanted and thought best.. Romans 15:1 came to mind: “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.”
I realized that a mind bent out of shape cannot grasp neat and orderly. It is foreign to the thinking of those with Alzheimer’s Disease. I felt I had actually done my mother a disservice by organizing her sewing room which only added to her confusion. So I put things back the way I found them.
As I am continually reminded to help others rather than to please myself, may I encourage you to consider the words found in Romans, “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.”